Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
