Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
