she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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