Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
His nipple licking is glorious
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