you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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