Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
