not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
