You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
she looked like the before picture.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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