6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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