i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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