So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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