Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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