no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My dick has a subreddit
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
