She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
