i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
