His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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