your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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