Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize