i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
