mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
