I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
