Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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