Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize