And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize