Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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