Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
