dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize