Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
