she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
