I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
