he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
