White coat. Heels.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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