So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
