I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
