Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
