There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Randomize
