It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
