What did we do last night that was yellow?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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