so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
