oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize