i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
