"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
