Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
