Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
