wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
