jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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