why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
