peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize