i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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