Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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