best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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