you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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