new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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