I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
