Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
