half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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