did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You are the jesus of drinking
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
