Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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