You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
