you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
