white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
cat food counts as protein by the way
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
