So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
