Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
try to milk me bitch
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
