I don't think brook has ever known best
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
