he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
