Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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