And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
