we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
