Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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