new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
