All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
