its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
