OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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