lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
