her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
