Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
