Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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